


Man, That Was Close

by AlbannachLass



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Forgiveness, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Multi, The Last of Us Part II AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbannachLass/pseuds/AlbannachLass
Summary: What if *that* scene went a little differently? What if Ellie had a plan?Or, fixing The Last of Us Part 2 because I need it.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Comments: 75
Kudos: 470





	1. Chapter 1

All rational thought left her mind the second she saw him kneeling, bloodied, on the floor, a woman standing over him with a golf club obviously getting ready to strike. Ellie immediately moved towards him, not paying attention to her surroundings which lead to her being tackled to the floor. Grunting, she tried to escape, but the asshole was too strong. Instead, she tried pleading with the woman, but her pleas fell on deaf ears. The woman turned around and raised the golf club over her head. Ellie screamed as she brought it down on Joel’s head, and that’s when the door burst open: Dina and Jesse.

Ellie used the distraction to her advantage, turning over in her captor’s loosened arms whilst yanking her switchblade out of her pocket, and stabbed him in the neck. Shoving his writhing body off of her, Ellie immediately set her sights on the woman, who had redirected her attention to defending her group, Joel unconscious at her feet. Rage filled Ellie at the sight, and she launched herself at the woman with a scream. They fight for control, one just as stubborn as the other, but with a well-placed punch to the head, Ellie gets the upper hand. Straddling the woman’s chest, she lifts her switchblade to pierce her throat when a burst of pain explodes across her head.

_MOTHERFUCKER._ She couldn't see, blinded by the pain and her ears were ringing, deaf to the commotion going on around her. Disoriented, she shakily rose to her feet and scanned the room, switchblade at the ready.

“Where the fuck is she?” Ellie bit out, clutching her head, blinking frantically to get her vision to just fucking focus.

Dina answers her from across the room, kneeling next to a stirring Tommy. Ellie hadn’t even noticed him in the room, “They bailed as soon as she clubbed you. Jesse chased after them. Are you OK?” She gazed at Ellie with concern, who still looked out of it.

Ellie didn't answer, instead she bolted to the door, determined to join the chase, but just as she reached the door, Jesse ran through, and Ellie crashed into him.

“Woah, Ellie, calm down.” He gripped her shoulder’s tightly when she attempts to get around him. “They’re gone, Ellie. I tried to track them but the snow’s coming down too hard, I lost them.”

“No, I need – I need to find them. Let me go.” She continued to struggle in Jesse’s hold, no way was she letting them get away with this, with what they’d done to Joel. Wait.

_Joel._

“Shit.” Ellie ripped herself out of Jesse’s grasp and turned towards where she had last seen him, he wasn’t moving.

“No, no, no, no, no,” she dove towards Joel’s still form, barely noticing Tommy move out of her way where he and Dina had moved to check on him.

“No, you said you wouldn’t fucking leave me, Joel.” Ellie grasped his head between her hands, wiping away the blood that coated his face. Desperation clawed at her insides, panic once again taking over, he still wasn’t moving. Her surroundings faded to nothing as she focused solely on his face, hoping, wishing, for a twitch, a flinch, anything to indicate that he was still here with her. Nothing. _Please don’t do this._ Ellie began to gently shake his head, _please, please don’t do this._

Before she succumbed to the despair about to take over her body, she felt a gentle but insistent hand on her shoulder, and a faint voice penetrated the cloud in her mind. Dina.

“Ellie. Ellie! Calm down. He’s okay. He’s okay. Feel.”

Ellie directed her attention to where Dina was holding Joel’s arm, fingers pressed against his wrist. When after a few seconds she did nothing but stare, Dina gently grasped Ellie’s hand, replacing her own on Joel’s wrist. Hours passed it seemed, but then she felt it. _Thump._ Ellie inhaled shakily, digging her hand further into his arm, whilst using her other hand to search his neck. She felt it again.

“He’s just unconscious.” Dina continued. “He’s in a bad way, but he’s hanging in there.”

Relief poured through her like a current. It hit her so hard that it felt as though her own heart had stopped beating. She refocused on his face, and now that the panic-fuelled grief had somewhat lifted, she could see the small, slight breaths he was taking.

She sighed, lowering her head to his chest, tears continuing to stream down her face, but with relief this time. “You goddamn asshole, Joel.”

Distantly, she heard Dina and Jesse talking, something about medical supplies, and ransacking the few bodies that littered the floor. She should probably help them, but a bone deep tiredness had suddenly overcome her. Also, no way was she leaving Joel’s side. _Sorry, old man, but you’ll be stuck with me for a while. Sucks to be you._

Suddenly, she felt a presence next to her, she flinched and turned around, hands raised, ready to fight whatever son of a bitch had decided to come back.

“Woah, Ellie, it’s me, just me.”

“Tommy,” Ellie sighed. Dammit, she completely forgot about him, he’d been quiet ever since they’d shown up. She then remembered that he hadn’t exactly come out of the situation unscathed “You okay?”

He looked a little worse for wear, pale faced with his face also covered in blood, but his eyes were the worst. He seemed as though he’d aged ten years, the haunted look in his eyes becoming more pronounced as he gazed at his brother. He didn’t answer, just sidled next to Ellie, the two of them keeping a silent vigil at Joel’s side.

A few minutes later, Dina and Jesse returned armed with what looked to be bandages, alcohol, and whatever else they could find. She hadn't even realised they'd left. They knelt beside Joel.

“Guys, you’re gonna have to move. We need to patch him as best as we can before we can move him.”

As reluctant as they were to leave his side, they did as Dina said, but they didn’t move far. Ellie gently lifted Joel’s head and placed it in her lap, hoping to bring him some comfort if he regained consciousness during Dina and Jesse’s administrations. Tommy followed, sitting right beside her. Exhausted, and needing whatever comfort she could get, she leaned her head against Tommy’s shoulder as she gently brushed her hand through Joel’s hair. Tommy wrapped his arm around her.

For the first time, she had a good look at Joel’s injuries, the worst of which was his leg. It was a bloody mess. Anger rose once again in Ellie at the sight. Those guys should be thanking whatever deity they believed in that they left when they did. _They wouldn’t be so lucky next time_ , Ellie vowed to herself. However, Dina and Jesse were able to patch him up as well as they could, with Ellie only having to gently shush Joel a couple of times when he stirred from the pain, though he never fully woke up.

“I’ve done as much as I can for him, but we need to get him to Jackson as soon as possible.” Dina stated as she rose from her position, eyes scanning the room to see if they could fashion anything to help transport Joel.

“Weather looks as though it’s dying down. We should leave soon, though, in case it gets worse.” Jesse commented from where he’d moved to the window.

Together, they managed to create a makeshift sled to carry Joel down to the horses. As Jesse and Tommy were getting him situated, Dina snagged Ellie’s arm, “How’s the head?”

Truthfully, Ellie had forgotten all about it, the pain a mere inconvenience that had been shoved to the side, “I’m fine, Dina.”

Dina eyed her worriedly but didn’t say anything else.

Finally, they managed to get Joel down to the horses, thankfully, all still where they had kept them.

“Assholes must’ve been in too much of a panic to even think about taking them.” Jesse said when he saw them, no small amount of vindictiveness in his voice.

“Still, let’s not hang around for them to come back.” Dina was worriedly gazing in every direction, as if anticipating that the group were just hiding beyond their sight.

There were still many unanswered questions and concerns that they would need to consider when they had a clearer head, but right now, Ellie thought as she tied the rope attaching Joel’s sled to Shimmer, they just needed to get the fuck out of here.

Once they had all mounted their horses, they began the trek back to the Jackson, Dina taking point, and Jesse and Tommy taking the rear. Ellie took one last look at Joel before setting off; the similarities were not lost on her, memories of that winter five years ago flashing before her eyes. Ellie sighed, shaking off the memories. He survived back then, he’ll survive now.

As she looks towards the sky and sees the clouds ominously threatening more snow, all of them picking up the pace as to not get caught in another blizzard, she groans heavily, “I fucking hate winter.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first fanfic I have ever written. I decided to do it because I hated Joel's death and wanted to change it so bad that I felt an urge to write something myself. I think it says something about the storytelling of the first game that you become so attached to these characters and their relationships that when they fuck it up, you just have to fix it. So, thanks Naughty Dog for the first game, a true masterpiece. The second game? I don't know her, sorry. 
> 
> (Apart from the birthday scene, that shit was cute as fuck.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Jackson, tensions rise as our characters settle in for a long night of waiting.

Ellie was dozing at Joel’s bedside, the pain in her head a persistent thumping now that the adrenaline had worn off. She had a pretty impressive cut according to Dina, but luckily it didn’t require stitches. They’d managed to get Joel to the clinic where he was patched up as best as the ‘doctors’ could manage, but he’d yet to regain consciousness in the hours they’d been there.

She startled awake when the door opened, whipping around quickly before breathing a sigh of relief at seeing Tommy enter.

“Hey, kid, sorry for wakin’ you. How’s he doin’?”

Ellie sighed, running a hand through her hair. “They think he’ll be fine. They patched up his leg as best they could, but they won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes up and tries walking.” She looks at Joel again, brows creased in concern, “His head was what concerned them the most since he hasn’t woken up yet, but since he’s breathin’ on his own and his eyes were responding they think it’s just a waiting game.”

Tommy leant against the door; posture somewhat relaxing upon hearing this. “Well that’s somethin’ at least.”

“Where’ve you been? You get your head checked out?”

“Did you?” Tommy gave her a look, which Ellie returned. He gave slight chuckle in defeat, “Yeah I’m fine. Was just letting Maria know what happened, Dina and Jesse came with to fill in the parts I was knocked out for.”

Ellie fully turned around to face Tommy at this, “Yeah, what the hell _did_ happen?”

Tommy heaved a deep breath and went to take a seat on the couch that was against the wall of the room. Ellie followed suit, still keeping an ever-watchful eye on Joel. He proceeded to tell Ellie how he and Joel got caught in the blizzard, went to find refuge and found a woman called Abby, (at this, Ellie felt a rise of hatred) rescuing her from a horde of infected. He then goes on to explain that they followed Abby to the ski lodge where her group was located…

“Wait. You fucking followed her? Are you serious, Tommy?” Ellie couldn’t keep her mouth shut once she heard that particular bit of information.

“I know. God, I know. But listen, in the moment we had no reason to distrust her,” at this, Ellie scoffs, “look, I know, okay. I know. But in the moment, we weren’t thinking, we just needed to get to safety.”

Ellie rolls her eyes, “Fine. Idiotic decision aside, what then? Obviously, you made it to the ski lodge, so what happened there? One minute you guys are saving her life, the next she knocks you out and is trying to kill Joel?” At this last bit, Ellie’s breath gets caught in her throat, she still hadn’t completely come to terms with the fact that she almost lost him.

“I have no idea what happened. We introduced ourselves then-“

Ellie’s eyes flew up to Tommy’s face, “You told them your names?”

Tommy sighed, looking down in guilt? Shame? “Yes.”

“What the fuck, Tommy?!” Ellie stood abruptly, unable to contain the anger that was coursing through her body. “You voluntarily went to an unfamiliar location, following a person you just met, to a group of people that outnumbered you and you told them your fucking names?! How goddamn stupid are you both?” She’s shouting by this point, but she doesn’t fucking care. She began pacing the room, agitated.

“I know it was fucking stupid, Ellie!” Tommy stood up at this point too, and faced her anger head on, his own starting to rise. “You don’t think I regret it? You don’t think that as soon as I realised what was happening, I knew we fucked up? I woke up and thought my goddamn brother was dead!”

“And whose fault would that have been?!”

“HEY!”

Tommy and Ellie, who had inched closer until they were in each other’s faces, suddenly turned around at Maria’s interruption. She stood by the door; arms crossed with a look of disapproval on her face, Dina and Jesse beside her looking awkward as hell.

“You both need to calm down, right now.” Maria made her way to both of them and pulled them apart.

“Did he tell you what they did, Maria?” Ellie was too far gone in her anger to even think about calming down, glaring at Tommy all the while, “Wouldn’t surprise me if the idiots told them about Jackson either because _apparently_ you can trust _anyone_ these days! Who gives a shit, right?”

“Hey! We did no such thing…” Tommy tried advancing on Ellie again, but Maria held him back more firmly this time.

“Enough!” Maria clearly had lost her patience with both of them at this point, “You’re both exhausted and anxious right now, okay? Don’t say something you’ll regret later. Tommy, go sit down,” she turned to him when he made as if to object, glaring at him until he huffed, and made his way to the couch, sitting down heavily.

Sighing, Maria turned to Ellie, her face softening when she looked upon her face and saw just how distraught and exhausted the girl was, how pale. She gripped her shoulder’s softly, “You okay?” eying the cut on her forehead.

Ellie couldn’t do anything but nod, eyes focused on the floor, her wall crumbling slightly at the concern on Maria’s face.

“Good. Go talk to your friends,” Maria tilted her head towards where Dina and Jesse were still positioned at the door. The expression on their faces would have been funny in any other situation, Ellie thought numbly to herself, their eyes avoiding the little family drama so hard it looked comical.

Obediently, Ellie shuffled over to them whilst Maria took a seat next to Tommy who crumbled into her side immediately. As soon as she was close enough, Jesse wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder, and Dina grabbed one of her hands in both of hers.

“Heard your old man will pull through,” he said to her, giving her a little squeeze. She glanced up at him and he gave her a small smile. She almost wept at the sight. She looked at Dina, who was also giving her a small, encouraging smile, and when she saw that she caught Ellie’s eye, she gave her a little wink.

Ellie cleared her throat, “Yeah, uhm, they don’t know the extent of the damage, but. Yeah. They think he’ll be fine.”

“Good.” He sounded so damn genuine that she almost cried again. _Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with me._ “We’ll get out of your hair then. We just wanted to check up on both of you, make sure you were okay.”

“Thanks.” It came out as a whisper, that was all she could manage. She could feel herself falling apart and she was trying so hard to hold it together for just a little bit longer.

Jesse, on some level, seemed to realise this, and with one last squeeze he let her go and left the room, lingering by the door for Dina. Ellie turned to her, not knowing what to say, not knowing if she could say _anything_ because it felt as though as soon as she opened her mouth, the floodgates would open. Thank fuck Dina also seemed to understand this, because all she did was wrap Ellie in a tight hug.

“Hang in there.” She whispered into her neck, giving her a faint kiss before pulling back. Ellie just stared in shock as she left, a faint warmth still lingering from where her lips touched her skin.

A throat clearing from behind eventually broke her stupor, and when she turned around, she saw Maria smirking at her, Tommy asleep by her side. Ellie blushed and avoided all eye contact with her, resuming her place beside Joel. Who still hadn’t moved. It began to dawn on her, finally, just how close she was to losing him, and that precipice that she’d been teetering on for hours, finally gave way as she stared at his face. Tears poured uncontrollably down her face and she gripped his hand tightly, lowering her face to the bed, feeling the warmth of his arm slightly on her face. It brought her a little comfort at least.

She tried to be quiet, be as inconspicuous as possible, but, unfortunately, Maria was an astute woman. And the room was so small she couldn’t have fucking hid her breakdown if she wanted to, so why even bother trying? Her cries increased as she heard Maria’s footsteps getting closer to her, heard her sit down in the chair next to her, then felt her arm go around her shoulders, pulling her up and towards her. Ellie buried her head in Maria’s neck and let it all go, trying to keep quiet as to not wake Tommy, the guilt from what she said earlier to him starting to creep its way in, which only made her cry harder. Maria just gently shooshed her and rocked her slightly back and forth to offer whatever comfort she could. But she knew she wouldn’t be comforted until she heard that familiar, Texan accent again.

____________________________________________________

An hour later, Ellie had calmed down, and had started to doze slightly in Maria’s lap when she felt the hand still clutched in hers twitch, followed by a low groan. Ellie sat up so quickly she wouldn’t be surprised if she gave her self whiplash, but she didn’t care.

“Joel?” She whispered urgently, hovering over him, watching his face for any signs of consciousness.

“Ellie?” came the hoarse response, his face turned towards her voice and, after a brief struggle, he managed to open his eyes.

Maria, who’d been startled from her own light sleep by Ellie, quietly went to wake Tommy whilst giving both of them some space.

Ellie let out a small, relieved laugh, accompanied by the ever-present tears. _Jesus fuck, how many times can a person cry in one day._

“You’re an asshole, you know that? You scared the shit out of me.” Her tone wasn’t as acerbic as her words were, a faint laugh tinged her voice along with residual terror.

Joel just looked at her, brows furrowed, seeming to focus in on her forehead and nothing else. Ellie began to panic, _God what if they scrambled his brains or something. That fucking bitch I’m gonna fuck her up so bad…_ when Joel gently removed his hand from her vice grip and reached up towards her face, cupping the back of her head softly whilst caressing her forehead with his thumb.

As tired and panic riddled as she was, it took a minute for it to click, and when it did, she let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re worried about me when you’re the one who almost fucking died?”

At this, Joel let out a small, pained laugh, “That’s my job, kiddo.”

Ellie gripped the hand on her face and shook her head slightly, snorting. “Sap.”

Joel just smiled gently at her, but there was a hesitance there that had only recently taken residence. Before Ellie could say anything, not that she had any idea what she was going to say, something behind her caught Joel’s eye. Tommy had slowly come up the bed as the two of them conversed.

“Why’s your face look like that, baby brother?”

Tommy rolled his eyes and Ellie had to stifle a laugh; he’d never looked the part of younger sibling as much as he did now. “Well, someone tried to beat my big brother’s face in, forever ruining my favourite sport, but ya know, no big deal.”

“Stop talking out of your ass, you hate golf.”

“Well it’s my favourite sport now.”

“You just said it was ruined-”

“I know what I said-”

“-so it can’t be ruined if it’s now your favourite. Basic logic, Tommy, come on.”

“Well, excuse me if my brains are fried. You’re not the only one who got their head bashed, ya know? Notice there’s no concern for me. Dick.”

“You’re right, Tommy. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you still had brains to fry. I’ll be more concerned in future.”

“I preferred you when you were unconscious.”

“I preferred you both when you were unconscious”

Maria’s statement was met by two eerily similar, cheeky grins, the effect slightly ruined by the pain surrounding Joel’s. Ellie had leaned back in her chair, having eagerly watched the brothers’ banter back and forth. At the sight of Ellie’s grin, Maria’s countenance softened, and she turned to Joel.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Joel.”

“Thanks, Maria.”

“How does she get a normal response?!”

“Because I like her better.”

“Okay, enough, both of you.” At this, both brothers sniggered, Ellie joining them. The sound of her laughter caused Joel to face her again and give her a gentle smile, followed quickly by a huge yawn and a pained wince.

“Get some sleep, Joel, we’ll be here when you wake up.” Tommy told him, seriously this time.

Joel gave him a small smile, glanced once more at Ellie who had reclaimed his hand and shut his eyes, quickly drifting off. She exhaled shakily at the sight, _he’s just asleep. Not unconscious, not dead. Asleep._

Maria and Tommy exchanged a look behind her back, worried about the girl. Clearing his throat, Tommy began quietly, “Ellie. Why don’t you go shower, get changed? Maria and I can hold the fort until you get back.” For both Maria and Tommy knew that there would be no convincing the girl to sleep elsewhere tonight.

Ellie was about to protest, before she become conscious of how gross she felt. There was still dried blood on her clothes and skin, not all hers, and her face felt crusted with tears. She nodded in agreement, squeezed Joel’s hand once more and stood up. Before she could second guess herself, she turned to Tommy and hugged him tight, pouring the relief and guilt she felt into the embrace. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her, equally as tight. They stood there for a few seconds more, sharing in the relief that Joel was okay, before Tommy kissed her head, and let her go. They would still need to talk, but for now, that was enough. Maria gave her a reassuring smile as she made her way to the door. She took one last look at Joel, and, reassured by Tommy and Maria’s presence, left.

_______________________________________________________________

After the quickest shower in known history, Ellie calmly made her way back to the clinic. (Okay, she ran, sue her for being concerned.) The whole way there she kept repeating to herself, _he’s okay, he’s alright, he’s alive._ The mantra only stopped once she entered his room once again and breathed a sigh of relief at his soft snores. _Definitely okay._

She looked around and saw Maria and Tommy curled up on the couch, fast asleep. _Some lookouts you are,_ Ellie snorted to herself.

Making her way back to Her Chair (she’d fight anyone who claimed otherwise), she settled in for the night. She grabbed Joel’s hand once again and lowered her head next to his shoulder, knowing full well her back would hate her in the morning, but she couldn’t give a shit. A content smile graced her face, and she squeezed Joel’s hand. They still had a lot of shit to discuss and issues to work out, but they had time. She’d make sure he’d have time if it was the last thing she did. Before drifting off, she felt him squeeze her hand right back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the amazing response to the first chapter! I honestly didn't expect it and I can't thank you guys enough. I was so humbled by all of your lovely comments! 
> 
> This one was a bit of a longer one, and definitely harder to write given that this is completely new territory, but hopefully you guys liked it! I wanted to expand a bit on the relationships Ellie has with Maria and Tommy as I feel like they would have taken on an Aunt/Uncle role in her life.
> 
> Side note: It's currently almost 2am when I'm posting this and I just finished writing it 10 minutes ago, so if there are any glaring mistakes, or if anything seems too convoluted or out of character, please let me know. I'm convinced by brain has melted out of my ears but I couldn't stop writing!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joel and Ellie finally discuss everything.

“Joel Miller you sit your ass back down on that bed or so help me I will shoot your other leg!”

The sight that greeted Ellie when she entered Joel’s room amused her to no end. Joel was standing very shakily at the edge of his bed with a scowl on his face that had made many an adult piss themselves in the past, but Maria was not fazed as she stood in front of him, eyebrow raised and arms crossed. Ellie leaned against the door frame, smirking as she said, “Do I even want to know?”

“Ellie!” Maria exclaimed in relief before proceeding to drag her over to Joel, who had since sat down, and gestured at him, irritated, “Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”

“What did you do?” Ellie sighed, looking at Joel with an amused expression.

“Nothin’!”

Maria scoffed, “Nice try.” She turned to Ellie, “I caught him trying to walk.”

Ellie turned incredulous eyes onto Joel, “The doctors already said you can try walking in two days. You tellin’ me you can’t even wait that long?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Like I’ve tried to tell all of you, I’m fine. I can walk. Don’t need to wait another two days. ‘S bullshit.” His Texan drawl was even more pronounced due to his impatience.

“Okay then,” Ellie acquiesced, humouring him, “go for it. Maria and I will be here in case you fall on your ass.” She aimed a cheeky grin at him with this last remark. Maria shot a confused glance her way, but Ellie just winked at her.

“Pfft, fall on my ass.” Joel muttered as he stood up, just as shakily as he had been when Ellie entered the room. A determined expression took over his face as he took one, very small, very slow step forward. Then another. Then another. Just as he started to aim a smug grin at the girls, his bad leg gave way, and he stumbled.

Ellie, having been prepared for this outcome the entire time, shoved her way under his arm and forced him to lean on her as she guided him back to his bed. “How are those two days sounding now, huh?”

“I still walked,” Joel grumbled as he sat back down.

Ellie just patted his arm as she took a seat beside him, “That you did.”

“Well, as entertaining as that was,” Maria just smiled at Joel’s glower, “I better go wrangle Tommy, Dina, and Jesse for that debrief you wanted.”

“Actually Maria,” Joel interrupted as Ellie looked at him in question, “do you mind giving me and Ellie some time? We need to discuss some things.”

“Sure,” she responded softly, smiling at the pair before she left them alone.

A sense of trepidation coursed through Ellie. She had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going to go, and she wasn’t too sure if she was prepared for it. She still hadn’t really had time to process everything, from what Joel did to the emotions and thoughts that she was denying herself.

Ellie steeled herself as Joel shuffled himself into a more comfortable position on the bed, but all he said was, “Grab my bag for me will you, and come sit back down.”

Puzzled, she did as she was asked, grabbing his bag that was on the couch and brought it over to him, before situating herself at the end of his bed cross-legged.

Joel took a deep breath, holding it for a good few seconds, before he exhaled deeply and reached into the bag, taking out three tape recorders, not unlike the one she found at the hospital. He placed them on the bed between the two of them.

“I found these, that day, while I was trying to get you out of that damn hospital,” Joel closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead as though in pain at remembering what happened that day, and its consequences. “I knew one day you’d find out. It wouldn’t be a secret forever, though I damn well wanted it to be. So, I kept these, for when that time came. I knew you would need proof; I knew you may not believe me. Understandable, of course, I did lie to you.”

Ellie shifted uncomfortably, her eyes trained on the items in front of her, “Joel, you don’t have to-“

“No, Ellie.” He interrupted softly, reaching out a hand to gently lift her face so that their eyes made contact, “You deserve the truth, and that’s what I’m going to give you. I’ll tell you everything that happened, and you can listen to these to verify that what I’m saying is true. Then…then you can decide whether you forgive me or not. But there is absolutely no pressure either way, you got that?”

All Ellie could do was nod. She was finally going to get the answers she had so desperately wanted since that day five years ago, so many unanswered questions finally being answered. Though she now knew that there was no way she could ever truly leave Joel, or let him out of her life in any way, ( _could’ve done without him almost dying, but shit happens I guess.)_ the question of forgiving him was still up in the air, especially when she wasn’t quite sure what she was actually mad at him for: taking her choice away, or lying to her?

“After we fell in the water, I managed to grab you and pull you out, but you’d taken in too much water…”

He then proceeded to recap the events of that day. How she wasn’t breathing. That the Firefly soldiers knocked him out before he could revive her. How he then woke up to Marlene telling him that she was no longer his concern, that the growth grew over her brain and she would have to die for the vaccine to be created. Marlene ordered him out of the hospital, telling her soldier to shoot if he tried anything. How he was unsure if they truly would have let him leave alive, they had taken all of his supplies with no inclination to give them back. How he wouldn’t let it happen. His massacre of the soldiers in the hospital. How he murdered the surgeon who was seconds away from operating on her, seconds away from killing her.

Ellie listened to all of this with horrified rapture. She felt disassociated from it in a way, like Joel was telling her a story of people they’d never met before, an urban legend or something. At this point, Joel paused, glancing at Ellie to see how she was taking all of the information, silently inviting her to ask questions if she needed to.

“They were…” Ellie swallowed heavily, “they were just going to kill me? Even Marlene?”

Joel gave her a sad look, “Yeah.”

“Wow.” Ellie glanced at the ceiling, trying frantically to blink the tears away that had suddenly sprung into her eyes. _Marlene._

“Look, kiddo, I know you’re pissed at me because I didn’t give you a choice, but _they didn’t either_.”

Ellie looked back at Joel. He stared back, imploringly, waiting for her reaction. But she couldn’t process it. _They were just going to kill me? Marlene was just going to kill me? Without talking to me? _She shook her head of the thoughts permeating her brain, she had to hear the rest.

“So, what happened after that?”

Joel sighed, and for the first time, shifted his gaze away from her. “I managed to get you to the elevator, and we made our way down to the parking lot, but Marlene was there. She wanted me to give you to her. She said it wouldn’t be long until you were murdered out in the world anyway. That you would have wanted to give up your life.” At this point, he scoffs. “As if she would’ve known. She didn’t bother asking you what you wanted. Didn’t bother thinking of another goddamn way to create the vaccine. And then she tells me that you’ll be murdered out there anyway, by the people she was wanting to save? As if humanity could be saved.” He muttered this last part under his breath, but Ellie still heard it anyway. He had gradually gotten more and more agitated as he spoke, the very memory of it seemed to be tormenting him.

“What did you do?” Ellie whispered.

Joel refocused his gaze on her, “I killed her.”

She knew that. She _knew_ that. So, why the fuck did she ask? And why is she getting so emotional about it? It’s not like she was particularly close to Marlene. Sure, she’d known her since she was born, but she was so busy leading the fireflies that they never really hung out. Still, she’d always been the person she counted on to watch her back. _And she was just gonna let me die? She wasn’t even gonna ask me if that’s what I wanted? Shit._ Ellie put her head in her hands, a headache starting to bloom with all the information she was being given and an inability to process it all.

“That’s everything, I swear. And I mean it this time.” Joel’s voice permeated through the fog that had overtaken her brain, “Anything I missed, any of the medical mumbo jumbo, is on those tapes.”

Ellie took a deep breath, steeling herself before reaching for the first recorder, it was the surgeon’s. She listened to him say how unique her infection was, that the cause of her immunity was uncertain. _Uncertain,_ Ellie internally scoffs, _sure let’s just kill the only known immune person when you don’t even know what caused it. Bullshit._

He continues, “ _As we’ve seen in all past cases – “,_ at this, Ellie whipped her head up to stare at Joel. “Past cases?”

Joel sighs, “I don’t know. It could mean other immune people, or it could just mean those who were infected. Either way, they experimented on others with no answers. I couldn’t take the chance.”

Ellie nodded and continued to play the recorder, but it was just full of scientific and biological terms that she didn’t fully understand. She put that one to the side and picked up another, surprised to hear Marlene’s voice filter through it. She hears the anguish in her voice as she repeats what the surgeon told her, that Ellie had to die. That she was exhausted and tired and just wanted everything to end.

“ _So be it.”_

The recorder clicked off, but Ellie continued to stare at it. Just like that, her fate was sealed. It felt as though her mind had once again disconnected from the situation, and mechanically she reached for the last recorder, Marlene’s voice once again filtering through. This time, however, she was talking to her mother, telling her how she gave the go ahead to kill her daughter. That she didn’t have a choice in the matter, really. That she was asked to kill Joel but didn’t. That Ellie would be with her soon. After the recorder clicked off Ellie didn’t move, she just stared at it, acknowledging what had been said, but not knowing how to compute it fully.

“Ellie?” Joel soft voice pulled her out of her mind, and she dragged her eyes up to his, a look of sorrow on his face as though it grieved him to give her this blunt truth, the decisions made for her without her knowledge.

She abruptly stood from the bed and started pacing, Joel’s voice had shaken her out of reverie and now her mind was going a million miles an hour. She tried to sort her thoughts, tried to organise them in a way that made sense, but it wasn’t working. _Shit._ Joel just sat patiently waiting for her, a look of concern on his face as he watched her try to come to terms with what she had just heard.

“Ugh,” Ellie groaned, rubbing her hands up and down her face in agitation before she stopped and faced Joel. “Y’know, I never told you this, but after that Winter, after D-David, I started thinking ‘What’s the fucking point?’ I mean, sure we’d maybe cure the Cordyceps, but was I really that naïve to think that everything would be a-okay after that? That humanity would just stop being assholes and go back to how it was in the good ol’ days? Were the fireflies really that naïve? And I just,” Ellie sighed, “I thought about giving up. And when you told me that we didn’t have to do it, that we could just go back to Jackson, I was so fucking tempted Joel, you have no idea. But then I thought about Tess who gave her life for us to do this. How Sam and Henry died because Sam got bit. That _you_ almost died and…” Ellie sucked in a trembling breath, his near death from back then hitting far too close to home given what had just happened, “I knew we had to keep going. We _had_ to. Especially if there was a small chance that we could fix this shitshow. I just never thought I’d have to fucking _die_ to do that.”

Joel stared at her, shocked. He had no idea that she wanted to give up. If he knew, he would’ve turned around in a second, no questions asked. He had no great desire to see a cure, he’d known the world was irredeemable since that soldier had killed his little girl, but he did it for Ellie, for Tess. If only he’d known.

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that I’m not mad that you saved me. Not anymore. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had my doubts about a vaccine too. But…” Ellie finally looked Joel in the eyes, “Why didn’t you just _tell_ me?”

Joel heaved a deep breath, “I was scared,” he told her, matter-of-factly, “I thought you’d leave, that you’d hate me, and I…I couldn’t handle that.”

Ellie huffed a tearful laugh, “After everything we went through, you thought I’d just leave?”

“Wouldn’ta blamed you,” Joel then sighed, “Ellie…there’s something else.”

Her stomach dropped at his change in tone, “What?”

“That woman, Abby?” Ellie scowled at the mention of her name, “Her dad was the surgeon. That’s why she wanted me dead.”

Ellie just stared, and Joel stared right back as if expecting her to say something. “Okay? That doesn’t make me want to kill her any less Joel, just so you know.”

“Nobody is killing anybody, that’s what got us into this mess.” Joel told her firmly. _Pfft. We’ll see about that._ “I just…I can’t say I blame her, that’s all.”

“What?!” Rage had never filled her so quickly as it did just there. He did not just say that. He did not just fucking say that.

“I took away her dad, Ellie.”

“And she almost did the same fucking thing to me!”

Ellie had started crying at this point, _I gotta stop doing that shit,_ she thought, but she couldn’t help herself. He almost sounded as if he should’ve died, that she shouldn’t have saved him. That he deserved it. _Fuck that._

“You didn’t fucking deserve to die, Joel! Was what you did wrong? _I don’t know_! Nothin’ is right or wrong anymore, you taught me that. Survival. Survival is what matters. _That’s_ what you did! And-and you told me you’d stick around, that you wouldn’t leave without me, and you almost did! I thought I was too late. I saw you on that floor and I thought she was going to kill you. And I didn’t know what to do. Our last conversation would’ve been me calling you an asshole! You would’ve died without us sorting shit out, and I don’t know how I would’ve lived with that. So don’t you dare sit there and tell me that you understand or that you don’t blame her, because that’s _bullshit!”_

She was lost, every emotion that had been teetering on the edge since she’d discovered Joel on that lodge had come pouring out. She thought she’d gotten rid of it all when she snotted all over Maria, but apparently not.

Unconsciously, she had gravitated towards Joel’s bed as she ranted, so when she felt his hand take hers gently and heard his soft “baby girl”, she immediately collapsed into him, making sure to avoid his injured leg.

Joel hugged her tight as she sobbed against him, pressing a gentle kiss to her head. He held her for a few minutes, but when it became clear that she wasn’t calming down, he gently took her face in his hands and guided her up from his chest.

“Listen to me very carefully. I am not going _anywhere_ , okay? You saved me, Ellie. I’m here right now because of you. You saved me.”

Ellie stared at him, taking in every inch of his face, his very much _alive_ face, and nodded. _Hell yeah I did._ “And I’d do it again.”

Joel just gave her a slightly watery smile, which Ellie returned before diving back into his chest.

“Oof,” he grunted, “careful. I’m an old man, remember?”

Ellie gave a soft laugh, “Yeah, you’re a real dinosaur.”

Joel laughed in return, squeezing his arms around her even tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. Over 100 kudos?! I can't thank you enough, honestly! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!
> 
> So, this chapter kicked my ass. It was so difficult to write because it's such a pivotal moment between these two, and I wanted to get it as right as I could. Hopefully I did it justice! 
> 
> I'm not entirely sure where I want to go with this story, I do have an ending in mind, it's just getting to that point which is causing me problems so the next update might be a bit of a longer wait. I'm not sure whether to include Abby and her group, and explore what Ellie might do, or keep this contained to mainly Joel and Ellie in the aftermath of Joel's near death, and maybe explore the Abby situation in a different fic. What are your thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A debrief happens and Joel finally goes home.

Ellie hadn’t realised she’d dozed off in Joel’s arms until she woke to voices chatting and Joel’s chest rumbling underneath her as he talked. She stirred slowly, reluctant to leave the safety she had found herself ensconced in, rubbing her eyes as she focused on her surroundings.

“Well, well, Sleeping Beauty finally awakens.”

Ellie turned at the sound of Dina’s voice and when what she said registered in her brain, accompanied by her signature smirk, Ellie felt a bright, red blush stain her cheeks. She heard a poorly contained snort from next to her, so made sure to dig her elbow into Joel’s stomach as she pushed herself up, smirking at his pained grunt. 

As she looked around her, she noticed that Tommy, Maria, and Jesse were also there. They were peppered around the room, with Maria and Tommy sitting on the seats next to Joel’s bed, and Dina and Jesse on the couch. “What’s going on?”

“Debrief.” Joel answered, “Thought it was only fair that Dina and Jesse were here too, considering they helped save us.” He directed a small smile to the pair as he said this.

“Purely selfish reasons of course, couldn’t deal with this one moping if you’d actually died.” Dina gestured at Ellie with a mischievous smile, while Ellie merely flipped her off.

Jesse rolled his eyes at the pair of them, “Someone please start talking or we’ll be here all day.”

With that, Joel and Tommy proceeded to recount what had happened that day, from helping Abby, to following her to her group, to Tommy being knocked out and Joel attacked. Joel then took over the story, that they attacked him because he had killed Abby’s dad, they shot his leg and she started beating him with the golf club. Ellie bursting into the room, the fear he felt when she was tackled, then the utter relief that Dina and Jesse followed. Knowing she had those two to keep her safe where he couldn’t, he allowed himself to black out.

“How did you three even know where we were? Or that we were in trouble?” Tommy asked once Joel had finished.

Jesse answered him, “I was supposed to relieve you both from your post. When I got there and it was empty, I knew something wasn’t right. It’s not like you two to just abandon a post without any kind of warning or indication of where you were going. So, I tried to track you guys down and that’s when I ran into those two and told them what happened.”

“Ellie wanted to go and find you guys alone,” Dina chimed in, ignoring Ellie’s betrayed look (Ellie subsequently ignoring the disapproving glance from Joel), “But we knew that the only way you guys would be in trouble you couldn’t handle was if you were overwhelmed, so we bullied her into taking us with her. Found the ski lodge and came up with a plan to handle whatever it was that happened.”

“Which I immediately ballsed up,” Ellie interjected sullenly. “I was supposed to go in first to provide a distraction once we realised it was a whole group, make them think I was just myself, talk shit, you know. Then when I said the trigger word those two would come bursting in and we’d fuck them up. But…”

Dina saw that she was retreating into herself, thinking of all the horrible things that could’ve happened because of her mistake, and she couldn’t let that happen, “Hey, it all worked out, didn’t it? It wasn’t exactly the best plan anyway. Definitely room for improvisation.” Dina felt a sense of achievement when that coaxed a small smile from Ellie, she then turned to the rest of the room, “Once we heard Ellie scream, we knew that something wasn’t right, so we went in. And we _did_ fuck them up.”

A collective chuckle went through the room at her conviction. A slightly awkward silence followed, before Jesse, with all the tact of a bull in a china shop asked, “So, why did you kill her dad?”

Dina whacked him on the chest with a whispered, “ _are you fucking kidding me?”._ Tommy and Maria looked at Joel with wide eyes, whereas Joel looked at Ellie, silently asking her how much she wanted him to say. Ellie thought for a moment: there was really only one thing they could say.

“Because he was going to kill me.”

A deathly silence filled the hospital room. Jesse and Dina stared at her dumbstruck; Tommy, Maria and Joel all looked at her with a silent question in their eyes, ‘ _are you sure?’_ She nodded at them, giving them a small smile.

“What the fuck, Ellie, you can’t just leave it there!” Jesse exclaimed after she had been silent for too long, Dina nodding frantically beside him.

Ellie sucked in a deep breath, preparing herself for the bomb she was about to drop. Well, she’d already told Dina, but she hadn’t believed her. _She’ll have no fucking choice now._ She glanced at Joel, looking for reassurance that what she was about to do was right. He gave slight nod and squeezed her hand.

“He wanted to kill me because I’m immune. He thought that was the only way to get the cure from me.” Ellie took a deep breath and uttered the words that she had finally come to peace with, “Joel saved me.”

Another silence followed Ellie’s statement before Dina broke it with a soft, “Holy shit, you were telling the truth?”

Ellie just nodded at her. A feeling of uneasiness took over her, what if they hated her now? What if they regret saving Joel? After all, the world could have been rid of Infected by now if he hadn’t saved her.

Jesse heaved a big sigh before saying, “Well, I for one am glad Joel saved you. Who else would annoy the living shit out of me?”

Ellie just shot a look at Dina, who immediately understood and whacked him again. The two girls sniggered at his look of mock pain.

Maria then cleared her throat and took command of the conversation, “Obviously, it goes without saying that this stays between us.” She shot a significant look at Jesse and Dina, both of whom nodded in confirmation. “Now, from what we’ve gathered, these guys are apparently part of the Washington Liberation Front, a pretty sizeable group. Luckily, it seems as though this Abby was on a personal vendetta, so I doubt the whole group are after Joel. They also don’t know about Jackson, to our knowledge. However, we are going to be taking some precautions to make sure we’re safe.”

At this, Joel shifted uncomfortably, “Maria, this is my fault, there’s no reason why everyone else should be put at risk. I’ll leave Jackson as soon as I’m able to.”

Just as an outraged Ellie turned to face him, Tommy interrupted with a blunt, “Shut up, Joel.”

“No one is leaving,” Maria interjected, a bit more pragmatically, “Tommy and I planned for this already. We’re having everyone in Jackson spread around that you didn’t survive your injuries, just in case any of them are lurking about trying to get information. That means, for the time being, you’ll be limited in where you can go, but considering your leg that shouldn’t be too hard.”

Joel didn’t look too happy with this information, but he knew arguing with Maria would get him nowhere, so kept quiet for now.

“We’re also going to have people on the lookout for any signs of them. It’s not too much of a leap to assume that Jackson is where you were staying, but hopefully they’ll believe that you’re dead and leave it at that.”

“ _Or…_ we kill her.” Ellie couldn’t help herself, and when she heard Joel’s reprimanding, “ _Ellie.”_ , she continued, “No, Joel, it’s not fair for you to live your life constantly on edge in case this bitch catches wind that you’re actually alive. I say, we kill those motherfuckers and be done with it.”

Dina, Jesse, and even Tommy looked to be on board with her plan, but Maria and Joel were having none of it.

“I already told you, Ellie, that’s what got us into this mess in the first place.”

“I don’t _care,_ ” she uttered through gritted teeth, glaring at Joel all the while.

“Joel’s right, Ellie,” Maria stated, “That’ll only increase our problems. We stick with our plan for now. Keep an eye out for them, we’ll have people act like Joel is dead if anyone asks any questions while on patrol, and Joel will stay inside Jackson until it’s relatively safe to do otherwise. It won’t be forever; they’re based in Seattle so there’s very little chance that word will get back to them once they return.”

_There’s still a chance, though,_ Ellie thought to herself, not sure if she could live with that looming over them for the rest of their lives.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few days later, Joel was finally able to go back home, though his leg was by no means healed and he had trouble walking, meaning he was going to be shut up in his house for a while, much to his displeasure. Ellie rolled her eyes from inside his house as she heard the unmistakable sounds of Tommy and Joel bickering and went to open the door, seeing Maria walking in front looking as though she was at her wits end with them.

“Well, that only took us about three hours.” Tommy commented after carefully dropping Joel onto the couch where he stretched out his bad leg.

“Boy, I will beat your ass.”

“Oh yeah, how you gonna do that?”

“Ellie?”

“On it.” She said as she advanced on Tommy with a wicked grin.

“Okay, okay, I surrender,” Tommy said as he walked backwards with his hands raised, “Way to pull the big guns.” He winked at Ellie, who just smiled smugly back at him.

Maria rolled her eyes at their antics, clearly wondering why she was the only adult in this little family, and what she’d done in a past life to deserve this torture. “Right, Joel, since you have a bathroom down here, we can set up a bed on the couch for you so that everything’s a bit more accessible-“

“No need, Maria,” Joel interrupted, “I want to sleep in my own bed after being confined to that shit excuse of a bed for a week.”

“And just how are you gonna manage those stairs?” Maria asked, eyebrow raised at his stubbornness.

“I’m staying with him,” Ellie piped up. At Joel’s surprised look she said, “I did say you weren’t getting rid of me old man and I keep my word, so suck it.”

Joel sighed, “Ellie you don’t have to do that, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“No you won’t. Maria’s right you can’t handle those stairs yet without help, and if you’re going to be stubborn enough to sleep in your own bed, then I’m staying.”

The two of them then locked into a staring contest, both as obstinate as the other, neither willing to back down. Tommy and Maria threw a knowing look to each other. No way this was going to end anytime soon, so Tommy intervened.

“Or, I could stay with you, Joel?”

“Nu-uh, no way.”

“And why the hell not?”

“I got enough o’ ya when we were kids, Tommy, I’m not goin’ back to that, not when I escaped years ago.”

“Well, that’s just rude that is.”

“Tough shit, Ellie stays. She’s better company anyways.”

“Suppose I can’t argue with that.”

Ellie threw a thankful look at Tommy, who just smiled back at her.

With that, Maria said, “Well, since that’s sorted, we’ll get outta your hair, let you guys settle in.” She came over to Joel and gave him a brief kiss on the forehead, “Glad you’re back home. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.” She then went over to give Ellie a tight hug.

“We’ll probably be over every day anyway, can’t leave Ellie on her own with you all the time, _that’s_ torture.” Tommy said as he squeezed his brother’s shoulder. Joel just swatted him away as if he was an irritating fly.

“Maria take him before they get started again.” Ellie pleaded to her surrogate aunt, who did as asked and snagged her husband by the hand, dragging him out through the front door.

This left Ellie and Joel in a slightly awkward silence. This was the first time in ages they’d been alone together with nothing to hash out, no lies creating a chasm between them. In theory, they should be back to normal, and yet, here they are…

“So…, if you’re not gonna take the couch I guess I will,” it was the only thing Ellie could think of to say.

“Why in the hell would you take the couch when you have a perfectly acceptable room upstairs?”

Ellie just stared at him for a minute. She’d almost forgotten about that room. _He kept it?_

Though she had her own little house, she insisted on having a room at Joel’s house when they first moved to Jackson. She told him it was so she could annoy him whenever possible, (“You haven’t done enough o’ that this past year?”) but really it was because the idea of being far away from him scared her a little. Since that day at the hospital when she discovered the truth, she hadn’t been round, avoiding him whenever possible.

Ellie cleared her throat to get rid of the sudden guilt and awkwardness that rose up in her, “I was just thinking that it’d be easier for me to catch your stubborn ass when you fall down the stairs.”

Joel rolled his eyes at her, “Just stay in your damn room, girl.”

“Ugh fine, I’ll go move my shit then. But don’t come crying to me when you put your back out cause you needed to piss!” She shouted back as she moved up the stairs, laughing at his groaned, “ _Christ.”_

Entering her old room was a bizarre experience. It hadn’t changed, really, though it was much tidier than when she stayed here regularly. She started to unpack the clothes she had brought with her, which was quite a lot seeing as she intended to stay with him until he was better. _And even a bit after that_ , she thought to herself, still haunted by the image of him close to death.

As she moved to her chest of drawers, something on the top caught her eye. She picked it up and her eyes widened in delight, “JOEL!”

She ran downstairs as quickly as she could, eager to show him what she’d rediscovered. As she got to the living room she saw an alarmed looking Joel halfway out of his seat, her shout must’ve startled him. _Oops._ When he saw that she was still in one piece he bit out, “Christ Ellie, way to give me a heart attack.”

Ellie ignored him, “Guess what I just found,” she sang as she sat on the floor in front of him.

“Oh no.”

“Oh _yes,_ ” she said with an evil grin, “Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”

Joel groaned, “That’s terrible.”

“You’re terrible. Now shh. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.”

“Do you even get that one?”

“….No. _Anyway._ What is a pirate’s favourite letter? ‘Tis the c.”

“Alright, that one’s not bad.”

“Diarrhoea is hereditary…It runs in your genes.”

“That’s…disgusting.”

“Pfft, you’ve shot a person’s face clean off, but diarrhoea is where you draw the line?”

“As a matter o' fact, yes.”

“Sounds like there's a story there…oh my god,” Ellie could barely say this one without laughing, “I met the man who invented the windowsill. He’s a ledge!”

Joel just shook his head with a fond smile on his face as Ellie continued to laugh herself silly, content to finally be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I deliberately making 19yo Ellie more like 14yo Ellie? Yes. She is a cute lil bean and I missed her. Don't get me wrong, 19yo Ellie is badass and awkward as fuck, and I fucking love her. But I do miss baby Ellie. 
> 
> Am I writing the most minimal amount of tension and awkwardness between Joel and Ellie because I just want them to be a family and love each other? Yes, I'm a sappy bitch, who knew?
> 
> Does Ellie actually have a room in Joel's house? Don't know, don't care, she does now. 
> 
> Is it almost 2am again and my mind is all over the please? Why yes, yes it is. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it and once again thank you so much for your support!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie goes back to where it happened.

Ellie took a deep breath to steel herself, standing at the door that led to the room of her nightmares over the past few weeks. She startled at Dina’s gentle hand on her back, silently letting her know that she wasn’t alone in this.

It had been a couple of weeks since Joel’s near death, and he was healing well, though his leg still wasn’t one hundred percent better, the reality is that it might never be fully healed, something which he took care to grumble about. A lot. Ellie hadn’t left his side at all during these weeks, this was her first patrol out since it happened, and she’d only went because Joel practically pushed her out of the door.

(“I’m fine, Ellie, quit your hoverin’ and go. Tommy’s comin’ over anyways.”

“The last time you and Tommy were alone together you were fucking idiots and almost got yourselves killed, so that doesn’t really comfort me.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OW. Okay, okay, I’m goin’. Jeez.”)

To be fair, she deserved a book to the face for that comment, but still, what a dick. _Screw me for being concerned, ungrateful old man,_ she thought spitefully whilst she absentmindedly rubbed her nose where it hit her.

“Okay drama queen, are we going in or not?” Dina’s amused voice came from behind her.

Ellie huffed and finally opened the door, taking a hesitant step inside. Both of them looked around the room filled with bloodstains, an obvious scene of struggle, but…

“They came back,” Dina voiced Ellie’s thoughts, “No bodies.”

“Yeah. Suppose we’re lucky they weren’t that curious about what else was around here, else they would’ve found us.”

“You sound disappointed.” Dina turned a curious glance towards Ellie, who just shrugged in response, eyes still wandering around the room until she saw something that was out of place. A piece of paper on top of the bloodstain where Joel had lain. Tentatively, Ellie reached for it, treating it as though it were a bomb that would go off as soon as she touched it. She read it and froze, anger paralysing her body.

_He deserved it._

“Fucking bitch,” Dina said in response to it, having read the note over Ellie’s shoulder, “Suppose that means they believed us though, that’s a good thing, right? Ellie?”

“She’s taunting me,” Ellie told Dina, who looked up in surprise at Ellie’s tone of voice, she’d never heard her like that before, and suddenly she could see where Ellie was going with this.

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

“What?”

“You’re thinking of going after them, but I’m telling you, don’t.”

“They almost killed Joel, Dina!”

“Exactly!” Dina was almost shouting at this point, but she needed Ellie to hear her, “ _Almost_ , Ellie, _almost_. He is still alive, and he needs you right now. Whether he’ll admit it or not, he’s not fully healed. He probably won’t ever fully heal and you and I both know that if you went on some wild goose chase seeking revenge or some shit that he would follow you! He’d follow you to the ends of the earth, and I’m asking you, please don’t ask him to do that.”

Ellie looked away from Dina and leant against the wall, breathing out a heavy sigh as she did. She knew Dina was right. Of course she was. She almost had a panic attack at leaving Joel to do this, never mind trekking to fucking Seattle. And he _would_ follow her. Damn it.

“If they had killed him…I would find, and I would kill, every last one of them.” Ellie’s voice was nothing but a broken whisper as she said this, directing her words to the floor, ashamed to even voice these dark thoughts to her girlfriend.

But Dina wasn’t fazed, and she gently grabbed Ellie’s face and lifted it so that she was looking into her eyes, “And I would help you do that, but _they didn’t_.”

Ellie gave Dina a gentle, fragile smile that almost broke her heart and nodded softly. She was right.

“Ok. Now let’s get out of this godforsaken place and raid the store again to see if there’s anything we missed. Think Tommy mentioned something about getting more DVD’s and books and shit.”

“Right behind you.” Ellie responded, following Dina towards the door, not even looking back at the piece of paper she left crumpled on the floor. She wouldn’t let that bitch get to her.

______________________________________________________________________

Ellie ran up the stairs to Joel’s house, she couldn’t wait to show him what she’d found. She swung open the door, calling out, “Your favourite person ever is here.”

“Maria?”

“Ha ha. Fuck you.”

She followed the sound of Joel’s chuckles to the living room where he was sitting on the couch reading a book, his bad leg elevated on the table.

“Did ya miss me?”

“Missed the peace and quiet.”

Ellie flipped him off and took the seat next to him, tucking her knees underneath her and keeping her backpack on her lap, practically giddy with excitement.

“Where’s Tommy?”

“You just missed him,” Joel put his book down and got his first good look at Ellie, who was practically vibrating on the couch next to him, “You drunk?”

“No!”

“You sure? Cause you’re acting like you did when you were 16 and tried to convince me you weren’t absolutely wasted after that party with Kat.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ellie said loftily, ignoring Joel’s disbelieving “uh huh” as she began unzipping her bag, “Ask me what I found today.”

Joel sighed, “Really?”

“Yes, really! Don’t be a boring old man.”

“You know you’ve done nothin’ but insult me since you walked in?”

“Uh _no,_ you’ve done nothin’ but insult _me_ since _I_ walked in.”

Joel shrugged, unable to argue, “Ok, I’ll bite. Whatcha have there, Ellie?”

Ellie dramatically unveiled the DVD case she had hidden in her bag with a “Ta-da!”

Joel’s eyes widened in excitement as he saw what she’d found, “Holy shit, Ellie, where did you get this?”

“At the store. Tommy asked us to look for more entertainment shit, and bam, there it was.”

“Damn. Thought we’d never get to watch this again after ours broke.”

Ellie was practically jumping up and down on her knees as she watched him look at it almost reverently. Jurassic Park.

“Sooo, movie night?”

“Hell yeah, kiddo. Go get some drinks and snacks, and I’ll set this up.”

Ellie did what she was asked, and then situated herself next to Joel on the couch as the menu title came up. Just before he pressed play, she blurted out, “I forgive you, you know?”

Joel froze, and turned to her with hesitant eyes. She couldn’t handle the emotion in them so looked down at her hands where she was anxiously playing with her sleeves, “I mean, you could’ve probably guessed that, but I couldn’t remember if I’d actually said it, so…”

Joel cleared his throat, though it didn’t help as his voice was hoarse as he asked, “Why?”

Ellie thought back to her revelation in the ski lodge, and looked him in the eye as she said, “Because if they had killed you, I would’ve hunted those motherfuckers down and killed every last one.”

An odd expression came across his face before he opened his arms, “C’mere baby girl.”

Ellie willing went and hugged him as tight as she could manage because going back to that shitty place had just reminded her how differently things could’ve been, and how lucky she was that he was still here.

“Right, enough of this sappy shit, play the fucking movie.” Ellie didn’t move far, just situated herself comfortably at his side and she started to feast on the snacks.

Joel chuckled at her abrasiveness and picked up the remote again to do exactly as he was ordered.

Ellie smiled as the first scene came on and Joel’s arm draped around her shoulders. Yes, she wanted to kill Abby. Yes, she wanted revenge for what they had done, what they had almost robbed her of, and yes if she came sniffing this way again Ellie wouldn’t hesitate to kill her. Maybe even with a golf club if she was feeling particularly poetic. But right now, she was home, and Joel was alive. Dina was right, he would follow her, and she wasn’t risking him. So, she would have to content herself with being on the alert and making up for those years she lost with him. _I can live with that,_ she thought to herself as she settled more comfortably into his side, bringing her attention back to the movie.

Those dinosaurs were fucking real, and she didn’t give a damn what Joel said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end. While I could write forever about these two, I wanted a succinct story that alleviated the the anger and sadness that The Last of Us Part II caused a lot of people. Hopefully, I've done that.
> 
> I decided to not include Abby in this story for the reason that is stated in this chapter: Joel is alive and Ellie doesn't want to risk anything happening. I fully believe that if Joel survived, nothing would have moved Ellie from his side, even the idea of revenge, especially because she knows he would follow her. It makes much more sense to me, in this context, that she would rather protect him from the safety of Jackson and deal with the WLF if they ever came along.
> 
> I just wanted to thank all of you who have read, commented, given kudos, bookmarked, this was my first fanfic and I'm so overwhelmed by how much you guys seemed to enjoy it.
> 
> (P.S. anybody get the reference????)


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